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More About Safe Words

I don’t think I’d quite finished my thoughts about safe words and why you need them, so in case it’s not completely obvious, a safe word (or phrase) is there to make sure no one gets seriously hurt!  I would say to the submissive, if the dominant partner doesn’t want to use a safe word – find somebody different.  If you’re the dominant partner and your subbie doesn’t want to use a safe word – find another.

Beware the Fantasy!

I know it’s a sort of fantasy for some subbies that they’ll get into the zone, that the Domme will hurl herself upon him and leave him a broken and bloody mess.  Fantasy is one thing but in reality that’s not what you want.  If it really is then you’d better find yourself a different Mistress because as much as I like inflicting pain, I’m not out to cause any real injuries.

Exactly Why You Need One

In case it’s not blindingly obvious, and I can’t assume that it is, there are times when the sub may be whimpering and sobbing and begging me to stop.  If we didn’t have a safe word agreed in advance then I wouldn’t know if he meant it or not.  In the world of D/s, sometimes “No” means, “Please do it some more, only harder!”.  And that, my dear pain freaks, is why you need a safe word.


If you’d like to explore this, or some other aspect of femdom, then just call me or, if you’d like to get to know me a little better first, join me for my hosted chat, The Magic Bus, on Sundays at 8pm EST in our interactive chat room.  YOU MUST B18+ TO PARTICIPATE!

Skype ID: CatherineSpanks

For an erotic phone session with Empress Catherine, call 800-601-6975. (Must be 18+. Calls are $2.75 per minute, with a 10-minute minimum. Discreetly billed to your credit card.)

10 comments to More About Safe Words

  • Alex

    Yes, so true. Those things need to be discussed beforehand. My wife and I don’t have a normal sexual relationship cause she has a lover. Now my wife and her lover use a safe word. He is extremely well-endowed , so the use of a safe word is a good thing(cant be too careful).

  • Ms Catherine, more sober advice for our play pals out there. An ounce of precaution can never take away from a good session. Like yourself, if there is no safe word/phrase, there’s no session and onto the next one.

  • GREAT posts about safe words. I’m reminded of a submissive who wanted to explore face to face fetish play. I’ll make a long story short — he reported back from his first play party. He KNEW what to do and how to play but he didn’t take the advice and ended up with a Mistress who said, “I don’t USE safe words, I don’t like safe words.” Well, you know what happened — she went WAY too far, subby was stunned and hurt and I said, don’t EVER play with someone that doesn’t like or use safe words!” ~sigh~

  • So very Weak

    Is Bra a safe word ?

  • Catherine

    It could be for some, not so safe for others …

  • Catherine

    “I don’t like safe words”??? Run awaaaaaaay!

  • Catherine

    Yes, it’s as simple as that. 🙂

  • Catherine

    Yes, even in those circumstances a safe word is a good idea!

  • So very Weak

    You know I just can’t do BRA

  • Catherine

    Darling, this is why it needs to be a word you CAN say, otherwise you’ll end up in all kinds of trouble …

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