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Safe Words

I’ve talked about safe words before so you probably know that I’m all in favour of them when it comes to D/s sessions (and even some rather more vanilla ones).

Disturbing

I was talking to a submissive today about safe words and what he told me was rather disturbing.  We were talking about caning and tawsing (my favourites) and how many strokes should be administered.  I should say at this point that the answer is “it depends”.  It depends on many factors including who’s doing the caning/tawsing, how it’s being administered, etc.  (this might be a good subject for next week’s blog) but I remarked that ultimately the submissive is control because of the safe word.

Trust

This particular submissive told me that he and his wife/Mistress don’t use a safe word, which is what I found disturbing.  Yes, I agree that obviously there MUST be trust between the parties, but no matter how much you trust the Dominant, no matter how you feel that “she will know” when you’re in unbearable pain I urge you to use a safe word.

“It’ll Kill the Mood”?

The attitude of the submissive in question seemed to be that this would “kill the mood”.  I believe people say this about using condoms as well, but life-threatening diseases also tend to kill the mood, so …

Let’s say you decide against using a safe word and the Dominant makes a mistake and you’re seriously injured.  Who then bears the responsibility?  Answers below please.

IF YOU’RE TOO BUSY THINKING OF A GOOD SAFE WORD TO READ, JUST CLICK HERE TO LISTEN …

If you’d like to explore this, or some other aspect of femdom, then just call me or, if you’d like to get to know me a little better first, join me for my hosted chat, The Magic Bus, on Sundays at 8pm EST in our interactive chat room. YOU MUST B18+ TO PARTICIPATE!

EMPRESS CATHERINE: 800-601-6975
Skype ID: CatherineSpanks

For an erotic phone session with Empress Catherine, call 800-601-6975. (Must be 18+. Calls are $2.75 per minute, with a 10-minute minimum. Discreetly billed to your credit card.) http://ratemycall.com

6 comments to Safe Words

  • I would say it’s a shared responsibility. A good Domme stays in touch with her sub and looks for signs of distress so she can slow the roll, so to speak. At the same time, if a sub isn’t man enough to be responsible, then he puts his Domme in a very bad position. Nobody wins in this situation, that’s for sure.

  • Ms Catherine, I couldn’t agree with you more. No reason to not have a safe word. Hopefully it will never need to be used, but one never knows. I say have fun…but play safe!

  • Catherine

    Yes, exactly!

  • Catherine

    That’s a good point, Piper; even with a safe word trust is very important.

  • ~sigh~ Yeah, I’ve heard a submissive say that too — when I’m on with the phone with someone I never know if that’s a fantasy or not. BUT, phone domination is REAL and I personally, won’t “play” with a submissive who is really following pain play instructions and won’t use a safe word. I don’t do ANY play without a safe word because that takes me out of my Domme space — it also shows me that the sub is either very inexperienced and unwilling to learn and/or dumb about safety. Neither is sexy. Just sayin’.

  • Catherine

    Exactly! When we’re in a phone session we simply can’t take the risk; sometimes the pain is fantasy and sometimes it isn’t. As you say, playing with someone who isn’t prepared to follow the rules is very unsexy!

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